Thursday, January 15, 2015

Potential of High Falls

High Falls votes to secede from Monroe County?

Marilyn Langford

Unfair and Unbalanced

Thursday, January 15, 2015 6:37 AM CST
High Falls voted to secede from Monroe County during a secret conference call of unidentified residents this week.  This shocking move was prompted by the “Hail Mary” pass by the County Commissioners to stack the deck on the Monroe County Development Authority, thus denying anyone even vaguely familiar with High Falls a seat at the table.  This snub of High Falls was quickly considered “the South against the North.”

THE participants in this secret meeting were united in their views that High Falls is the most beautiful part of Monroe County. Considering the beautiful lake, the clean river, the already busy High Falls State Park, it was agreed that with just a little strategic planning and development, the potential of High Falls is unlimited.

THE over-whelming concern by the residents is the perception that tourists exiting I-75 have of High Falls.  That perception is that High Falls does not have a pot-to-pee-in.  Literally.  There are no bathrooms for those traveling to High Falls.  Why can’t the Development Authority offer incentives for a travel center at Exit 198, just as it does for prospective businesses in Forsyth and south Monroe?

IN A cleverly disguised voice like that of an inebriated person, one participant seemed only concerned with hogs.  He repeatedly remarked that the lack of concern for development of High Falls located in “North” Monroe is because we don’t have any “hams.” 

DURING the meeting, it was argued that Butts County did a great job in saving Indian Springs by changing what amounted to an “eye sore” into an interesting and lovely place to visit.  The idea to merge into Butts County was quickly nixed because no one wanted to be from a county called “Beautiful Butts.”

ALTHOUGH the number of residents participating in the vote is unknown, the vote to secede from Monroe was unanimous.  However, it was soon decided that a full secession from Monroe County would cause a few small problems, like water, roads, and law enforcement.  In a compromise vote, it was decided that High Falls should create their own development authority.  The first action of the new High Falls Development Authority would be to bring a Starbucks/Bait and Tackle shop to the area.

READER, the above column is my attempt to write satire.  Of course it’s not true!  At least some of it. Satire is the use of exaggeration, ridicule, and shame to prompt people or governments to improve.  The fun of reading satire is that you have to figure out for yourself what is true and what is satirical. Satirical writings have recently ignited the cyber attack on Sony by North Korea and the shooting deaths of the staff of the French magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris. We cannot allow terrorists to deny our right to a sense of humor.

Marilyn Langford of High Falls writes a regular op-ed column in the Reporter sharing the liberal perspective on events.

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