Wednesday, November 7, 2012
It started with a tweet between two brothers. Last night, after it became apparent that President Obama had been re-elected for four more years, two politically opposite brothers tweeted each other.
Republican brother tweets that the Democrats stole the election from Romney because he got more votes, yet that "college" declared Obama the winner.
The Democrat brother tweeted back, "Now you know how we felt in 2000 when Al Gore lost even though he won."
"IT'S A LEFT WING CONSPIRACY", the Republican brother shouted IN ALL CAPS.
The Democrat brother responds, "It's not the end of the world, you know."
The Republican brother tweeted back, "Our voter supression plan was supposed to work, dammit!"
Even though you could tell the brothers loved each other, things escalated and the Republican brother tweeted, "Meet me at McDonald's in ten minutes and I'm going to kick your a$$!"
In a matter of nano-seconds, this challenge quickly spread throughout Twitter and Facebook. Since the city, state, or address of the McDonalds was not identified, tens of thousands of flash mobbers descended upon every McDonald's in the nation.
NEWS FLASH! "Obama has been re-elected and we're all going to die!"
NEWS FLASH! "An UN-CIVIL WAR IS DECLARED!"
Brothers against brothers; sisters against sisters; brothers against sisters; parents against children; neighbors against neighbors; friends against friends; husbands against wives.
In order to identify the enemy, the righties are wearing red bandanas and the lefties are wearing blue. To add to the confusion, 12% of the warriors are wearing purple bandanas because they still haven't decided which side they're on.
Within hours, encampments were set up and the streets became battlefields. The elderly are wielding walking sticks and setting up wheelchair barricades. People of every creed, color and religion are fighting. Noticeably missing from these riots are Latinos. They are refusing to leave the fields and the chicken processing plants because they fear Americans will starve without them.
NEWS FLASH! Marshal Law has been declared. In order to suppress turnout in the streets, anyone caught without a Voter ID card will be shot on sight.
NEWS FLASH! Supply lines are cut off from Mexico and China to Wal-Mart. 47% of the people marched on the Capitol begging for food. Mitt Romney immediately released a statement...."I told you so!"
News Flash! Massive jams are occurring at jet ports all across the country as the top 1% of the nation rush to the Cayman's to check on their money.
News Flash! Tragedy strikes Romney. Mitt Romney was in such a hurry to get to the Cayman's to be with his money, he forgot his magic underwear.
In the midst of all the chaos, a calming voice came over every radio network in America.
"Fellow Ditto Heads, calm down. Our political system has worked again. Barrack Obama has been re-elected President of the United States. Now it's time to behave like the patriots we are and work together for the good of the people and the good of the country. It's time we put an end to racism. It's time we stop trying to tell women what they can do with their bodies. It's time we leveled the playing field for the middleclass. We must protect Social Security and Medicare, and make healthcare accessible and affordable to all. We should respect those who do not agree with us."
Bill Maher tweets, "I agree 100% with you, Rush."
George says to me, "Marilyn, Marilyn, wake up! You're laughing in your sleep!"
Well, I can dream can't I?